byron katie
October 2008 
Bad karma? Freak accident?
Posted on Jul 2nd, 2008
by 
Halal the Giraffe
Halal the Giraffe
I dropped my son off at daycare this morning and 10 minutes later, was sideswiped by a young driver swerving around a bus.
This is three "not my fault" accidents in the last 7 months! TWO in my new car! What the heck!?
Is there something I'm missing? If you follow the belief that we draw everything int our lives, what in the world could be my purpose in this?
I can see an upside already -- ok, I will become an even more defensive driver. I will be more conscious while I drive. Good. Those are good things.
BUT!?!
Seriously, I'm not sure if I really subscribe to the "it's my fault on some cosmic level" philosophy, but I'm afraid to not look at this carefully. And as I've been listening to Byron Katie again, it's hard to say I've got nothing to do with it. Sounds like a trap. :-)
Speaking of Katie, she was a nice rock for me at the time. The other driver got out of her car pissed and upset because she was late for work, wanted to just exchange info and move on. I'd just listened to one of those exchanges in which Katie has her interviewee be the one intruding and she takes the role of the interviewee, so it was easy to calmly (and repeatedly) say, "I can hear you are upset and late. I'm sorry this has happened today! We do need a police report. Please call the police."
Feh. I'm open to new interpretations on this. What would Louise Hay say I'm doing?
This is three "not my fault" accidents in the last 7 months! TWO in my new car! What the heck!?
Is there something I'm missing? If you follow the belief that we draw everything int our lives, what in the world could be my purpose in this?
I can see an upside already -- ok, I will become an even more defensive driver. I will be more conscious while I drive. Good. Those are good things.
BUT!?!
Seriously, I'm not sure if I really subscribe to the "it's my fault on some cosmic level" philosophy, but I'm afraid to not look at this carefully. And as I've been listening to Byron Katie again, it's hard to say I've got nothing to do with it. Sounds like a trap. :-)
Speaking of Katie, she was a nice rock for me at the time. The other driver got out of her car pissed and upset because she was late for work, wanted to just exchange info and move on. I'd just listened to one of those exchanges in which Katie has her interviewee be the one intruding and she takes the role of the interviewee, so it was easy to calmly (and repeatedly) say, "I can hear you are upset and late. I'm sorry this has happened today! We do need a police report. Please call the police."
Feh. I'm open to new interpretations on this. What would Louise Hay say I'm doing?
Access: PublicTagged with: Byron Katie, car accident
Argh. I am so sorry this happened today, sweetheart. (Silver lining: Glad the wee one was not in the car with you at the time.)
I love Byron Katie and I believe in karma, but I'm still of the mindset that the universe contains a lot of random, disruptive energy, and random, disruptive things sometimes just happen.
Maybe sometimes things happen just so you can hear yourself saying in the middle of an intensely stressful situation, “I can hear you are upset and late. I'm sorry this has happened today. We do need a police report. Please call the police.” You are AMAZING for saying that. Really.
I also applaud your being able to say what you did and have hopes for the I'm-too-busy-for-this other driver was able to receive some of that powerful energy. I am so, so, so, so sorry this happened. While I have no firm, informed belief about karma, I do believe how you handle anything in this present moment matters a lot, and you are a shining star. I have a set of Louise Hay cards right here at my desk. The one on top currently says “I see the world through eyes of love and acceptance. All is well in my world.”
Wow, me too I'm sorry this happened. Perhaps “fault” is the wrong word altogether? Let's replace in with “meaning”. I actually don't subsribe to the “shit happens” world view and being a victim is just so last century as is being a judge. If you believe that dreams have meaning then you begin to remember them and they do have meaning and the mundane things in our daily routines have meaning too. It might be years before you find any meaning in this event and then there is the other person. You may have saved her life today?
((((((((((Halal)))))))))) love you!
Thank you, dear ones. RL and FS, I'm thinking we might do a car smudging at our next Ya Ya meeting. Game?
Doug, that's a pretty fantastic reframe. Me and my car, the life-saving duo…. thank you. And the point about exchanging fault for meaning is a deep one that applies everywhere. That gives me solid ground for using this to move forward into a different way of thinking.
Nicole, your hugs are always a comfort. And nice new avatar, by the way! Apropos.
Aside: I'm curious to see how the insurance company handles this. I believe the officer issued the young lady a ticket today even though it was my word against hers (she believes we were each trying to move into the same lane), no witnesses who stopped. If we continue down the same two-story track, will her insurance company settle? Doesn't matter much, I get that. We're all safe. But wondering how this system will work.
hmmm… well keep us posted!
Totally game
I'm glad no one was hurt!
I was rear-ended about four years ago. My eldest daughter was in the seat next to me. We were hit at an intersection by an elderly driver who was in a hurry to get to her doctor' s appointment. Almost exactly one month later, the same daughter was hit walking across a cross-walk, by a guy who was hurrying to take his son to school, and then get to work. He left the scene and didn't even leave his information with her. Luckily, a lady saw what had happened, and lent my daughter her cell-phone to call me. She even provided us with her phone-number and offered to be a witness, but we didn't have a license number, so it was classified as a “hit and run.” Those two accidents were the catalyst for years of dealing with anger and feelings of vulnerability.
Though I never, ever what to be involved in an accident again, I also wouldn't trade the insights and tough spiritual work both my daughter and I had to do. The purpose of those accidents for us - to learn acceptance. I had to give up working on the potter's wheel, because of an injury to my elbow. Acceptance is the cornerstone of what Byron Katie teaches. What is - is. It took me a long, long time to accept that I had that I had to limit my throwing - and eventually I had to give it up. But if I hadn't, I would have probably never idscovered I could paint. We are often not aware of what our Higher Self has in store for us. What looks like disaster, can often be a blessing.
Most of us have the belief that we are good people and don't deserve to have bad things happen to us. Karma transcends this life-time. But, I view karma less as “a debt owed” and more of a “lesson which needs to be learned.” I'd say judging by the way you handled the other driver, you did very well. You accepted what was, and instead of raging against it, or her, you handled the situation with a calm and level-headed demeanor.
Maybe YOU were supposed to be in these other people's lives–maybe THEY were supposed to be learning the big lesson here. I am so glad you and your family remain safe from any harm from this–Does the WHY really matter? I so loved seeing Katie in April out in KC at Unithy Vilage.
In the light–Jude
www.stirringthespiritwithin.com
Otter, I didn't realize I hadn't answered your post. The price of learning acceptance is steep for most of us, I'd say, and I'm grateful to you for sharing your experience. It is a deep and rich one. I am certain I am not all of the way there – sadly, there are many things I would still rail against the universe over if I lost them.
It's an interesting progression to look at the drivers with whom I've been involved in these accidents. The first guy was so sorry he could barely talk, and we bonded over that. The second lady was already my friend, though we haven't used the accident as a way to get closer (as we might have). She was very matter-of-fact about it. And the third, she's the only one so far to have been aggressive and angry. Maybe I was working my way up to her, through the acceptance of dents and dings to the possibility of having to *pay for repairs that were not my fault. (The insurance company tells me the young lady is standing firm by the story that I hit her.) *Money… now there's a topic I could stand to do some Work on.
Jude, that's one way I'm staying in her life for a while. I keep thinking that this is heavy for her, that she deserves some compassion for the weight that her story is creating for her. The WHY only matters to me in the sense that I'd like to stop drawing this sort of thing to me if it's something I'm doing. Next time, the crash might not be so gentle and I might not be alone.
And finally, my friend Tammie asked me what I'm thinking when I'm out there on the road. I admit to a fair amount of “please don't hit me… please don't hit me…” So if you buy into the Secret, maybe one thread within the complex tapestry is me drawing it in.
Or, maybe it was all just an accident.
Maybe a mantra for driving–The people in these cars are careful, competent drivers–I am a careful, competent driver. The Universe will only put me together with people who will add to my peace and serenity.
Perfect, Jude. Thank you.