Kindness, MT Moments #55

Word of the year: Juicy
Word of the day: Kind

Don't know why - doesn't always have to be a reason for such - but Kind was the right word. Dashboard star in place, it popped into my mind at just the right moments throughout my workday.

I was walking into my first school and met a very kind smiling face coming out.  No words, no recognition, just an open smile that I could respond to genuinely.  No reason at all that I should have to wait on a smile to respond to instead of offering an instigating one myself.  I mean, I smile at people all the time, but honestly it's often a quiet question of "do you like me?"  It's a different smile that comes out of a self-confident, inborn kindness.  When I think about it, I have that one to offer, too.

Positive moments in the day:
* Two positive sessions in a row this week with the 3rd-4th grade DF/HH class.  Without the pouting, I hardly know who I'm facing. The changes that seem to have led to this are both annoying and obvious.  Most notably, I stopped forcing the kids to interact with other kids they don't want to interact with.  They were so grateful to be invited to work with the kids in the class that they like that they never questioned the game itself.  I can't force people to like one another any more than I can force my 2 year old to like the soup he used to eat with abandon and is offended by now.  That doesn't mean I have to stop asking them to interact at all, but perhaps the one-on-one stuff will continue to go better without the use of force.

* I didn't express annoyance outwardly at the 4th-5th grade DF/HH class. (Hurrah!) I really wanted to.  Instead, I let them hang themselves while I smiled on serenely.  :-)  These guys don't (know how to) talk to one another about anything, much less negotiate. They are all about their personal caste system.  (Adolescence.  I hereby dread parenting it myself.)  Anyway, we played a couple of games for which they needed to decide who on their team would go first, and then offer help to their team mates when needed.  It was enlightening to see that they very clearly do not have the skills to do either of these things with their friends, much less their mortal foes (also in the classroom).  My heart softened a little at recognizing the lack of skill vs. a desire to annoy the hell out of me.  But still, it was refreshing to not step in to make any decision at all for them.  I didn't offer any hints or additional information when they missed what they needed because of ribbing each other.  I hadn't realized how often I save them from themselves.  No more of that!   It's much kinder to let them experience the natural consequences of their actions.  And try to keep a smile on, too.

* Language seemed to explode onto the set today when I introduced a song in which five children with autism could choose from an array of (cold) foods for parts of Aiken Drum's body.  Suddenly, the right to choose the frozen peas or the ice cream sundae was very important!  There was also a child who popped out with "ice cream!" and "hot chocolate!"  earlier in the session.  Note to self: food is a topic of interest. 

* Conscious Discipline says that how educators treat the kids in our classrooms is how all of the other children in the classroom will learn to treat each other.  Same goes for behavior management in the home.  This was abundantly obvious today when the nonverbal, lower-functioning child with autism repeatedly jumped out of his seat to run around the room.  The other non-verbal but higher functioning child would each time launch into a mini replica of one of the para's behaviors in dealing with that child - grabbing his arm, speaking (in gibberish) strongly/aggressively, pointing forcefully to the child's chair.  It was a good reminder that we are always, always modeling something.